truth in advertising
“You’ll find that replacing a faucet is an easy project that takes about an hour,” said my DIY Book of Lies. It doesn’t mention that your old sink’s shutoff valves are broken. It doesn’t mention that the guy at the hardware store will convince you to get much longer supply tubes than necessary, making it near impossible to secure them properly. It doesn’t mention that to get where you need to, you will literally have to crawl, completely, into the mildewy cabinet under your sink, and then get on your back, with a flashlight between your teeth. It doesn’t mention debris falling in your face.It doesn’t mention how the awkward angles and heavy wrenches will cause your arms to shake, and how the tools will cut your hands, which will bleed, and how unspeakably repulsive under-sink-grime will seep into the cuts, causing them to sting, and how you won’t be able to wash them because you’ve turned off the main water line.
In the DIY Book of Lies picture spread on faucet installation, the coupling nuts come right off the tailpieces. Because in the pictures, there is no rust. In the pictures, the new faucet and associated parts look like basic, standard items that can be cheaply procured.
In the pictures, the cast iron pipe that drains the sink is not a hundred years old, and so it does not crumble like tissue paper when touched, spilling corroded metal bits and curry-laden dishwater down your arms.
But five hours and ninety dollars later, I have a new kitchen faucet. And I know just how it works.
posted by tortaluga @ 11:22 AM
3 Comments:
Solid!
Here's that exact Simpsons quote [from an instructional video Homer sees in the home improvement store]: "You know,installing your own barbecue pit is no harder than adding an aviary or Olympic-size swimming pool. In fact, it's a snap. [...] Snapping fingers may not make food appear."
this is so true. on the shows and in the DIY books they show nice clean new parts that are being removed and replaced by fancier, newer parts in a sparkling clean space. Their tools all work, and the fittings are all just right. The People helping you choose hardware in the store are actually helpful.
NOT TRUE! multiple trips to the hardware store are required for each minute project. and each trip usually cost around $100. And wrong parts are always part of the deal.
Why don't you have drawer pulls on your kitchen cabinets? people would ask.
because they cost $4.00 each. Then you need tools to put them on straight.
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