strike that

il faut cultiver notre jardin

I just finished my journal – the real one that I write with real pen on real paper that you aren’t allowed to read. It’s spiral-bound and orange and recycled from an old book, so on the front it says The Teen-Age Library. And the first entry begins: “the teen-age library” seemed appropriate today when i was in powell’s with joshua looking for a journal, because i’m having a teen-age episode at the moment. tomorrow is my first day of the new school year. i have homework to do, and new kids to meet. and i have a crush on a boy who isn’t crushing back. well, to be fair, he does like me. but he’s “confused.” isn’t that helpful? …even the crazy people i dig up have so little faith.

This first entry is dated 25 September 2005, exactly one and a half years ago. So I guess we all know what happens the more things change.

The following pages are packed with ticket stubs and assorted memorabilia from Chicago, San Diego, Quebec City, Alaska, D.C., Austin, Santa Fe, and New Orleans, and of course lots of Portland. There’s a ski lift tag from Willamette Pass and a business card from Red’s Eats, Home of Maine’s #1 Lobster Roll, and a label from a bottle of Abita Beer.

Several friends have asked me in the past few weeks about where I’m heading next, and for the first time in a long time, I’ve been answering Nowhere. For the moment Portland remains New and Exciting and full of surprise, and the prospect of a job and a bike and an address seems brimming with possibility. I’d like to spend some time with my friends. I’d like to do some good work. I’d like to plant tomatoes and stick around to eat them.

This seems a little Candide, doesn’t it? Time to cultivate my garden. Portland is, if not the Best of All Possible Worlds, at least the first place that’s felt like home. Which is really rather delightful.

Of course there’s still The Wanderlust and The List, Greenland and Laos and so on. It’ll happen, I hope. But this year I’m thinking Eastern Oregon. The San Juan Islands. Vegas. Iowa. (More on that last one later.) I am giddy with expectation.

posted by tortaluga @ 9:09 PM