geography
I used to leave my cell phone sitting out on my desk at work, because often during the day Operaman would call to check in. I would try to talk in an even, professional tone, without breaking into laughter. It was hard. We would talk for five minutes about what he learned in orgo or how I drove the Smartcar for the first time. Shit so small that only someone who loves you could possibly care.And I know, even just a few days out, that our split was the right thing. The number one reason I left New York – picked up my whole life and flew it across the country – was that people there didn’t make time for each other. And Operaman was like a little outpost of that life. It’s not where I choose to live anymore. I still want to do important work and do it well, but then I want to put it aside at the end of the day and go hiking and go dancing and grow squash.
So dating someone who considered it a Tough Call when I was sick in bed but he had homework to do is no longer of interest to me. But fuck, I wish that made this part easier. This part where out of habit I pulled out my cell phone and then realized, Nope. He’s not calling. I don’t get to hear about his lab and I can’t tell him about how I just found the first panelist for the conference session I’m moderating. And the math of it is completely illogical and completely obvious: that you spend time on things other than your hard work, and that that time keeps your hard work from sliding into irrelevance. Because it’s not all of you, and because someone wants to hear about it – even when it’s boring, or goes all wrong.
posted by tortaluga @ 11:43 AM
5 Comments:
Thanks for this. I mean, I know this wasn't the intent of your post at all, but sometimes I get bogged down in worrying about what I'm going to do next for work and will I make enough money if I choose a different job and how will that impact my lifestyle. Then I read this and remember that having a life is more important than having a lifestyle. So thanks.
can i tell you how much i appreciate your comment? cause i'm sick again, and i just got home and crawled into bed and checked my email to find a nasty overdue notice from the parking people who gave me a ticket the last time i dropped operaman at the station. it was a little much, for a friday night.
this is much better.
There is no mail Monday, but Tuesday's mail will hold the tale of a mission fulfilled; it is crammed with the little moments.
Can I ask you a terribly random question? Do you speak much the same way you write? Because I can only imagine people with their jaws constantly dropping in disbelief around you if that were the case. Which would be a rather odd way to experience life, I think.
You are a master of squeezing the meaningful from the quotidian.
yeah, when one does that out loud it's mostly just annoying.
thanks though.
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