now and then
Today is the second of April and yesterday, on the first of the month, I didn’t write out a rent check. I panicked a little realizing the date, and then I remembered. I didn’t write out a mortgage check either, because my first one isn’t due until May - but once that gets started it’s not scheduled to stop for thirty years.I’ve been hearing a lot about what a good investment I’ve made. Growing city, good neighborhood. Cheapest house on the block. But it’s hard for me to think of my house that way. I can’t imagine ever wanting to leave it. I can’t imagine growing out of it or getting tired of it or suddenly longing for the suburbs.
Houses are a thing that people sometimes choose to do in order to keep themselves busy. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, and it certainly applies to me. We all find things to keep us busy, ideally things that match our values. Writing, politics, kids.
But I don’t want to manufacture long-term busyness for myself with a house. Last night over organic doppelbach at a new brewpub my friend told me about her ex, He didn’t love me so much as he loved what I might become. Anyone not been there? I don’t want to be thinking about the next house while I’m living in this one. I don’t even want to be thinking about how good my house might one day be. I don’t mind that my fixer isn’t fixed. It keeps things interesting. And once it’s fixed, I hope I’ll know enough to say Enough.
A few nights back I bolted up in bed and rushed into my bathroom with a measuring tape, gleeful to discover that my bathtub will still (just barely) fit if I turn it ninety degrees. It will change the whole feel of my single tiny bathroom: make room for a floor mat, leave space for a towel rack, and unblock the window. It felt like an epiphany. And then the idea that it was an epiphany felt instantly ridiculous. Who the fuck cares about the layout of my bathroom?
Why should I even care? I do, of course. I went to design school and there’s nothing to be done. But this isn’t what I want to spend my time and energy on for the next ten years. I love my house now, and I’ll make it more livable – which will be fun – and then I’ll love it still. And in the background I guess it will be a good investment, but in real life it will be the place where I wake up in the mornings, and do the things that feel more important to me than sink fixtures. Writing? Politics? Kids?
posted by tortaluga @ 1:10 PM
2 Comments:
well put. although i love the idea of rotating the bathtub!! this is an AMAZING discovery. Your bathroom will feel comparatively HUGE!
You need to think about rotating the kitchen too....
moving half of it and making a pantry wall to help provide bathroom door privacy....
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