time for new business cards
DutchBoy messaged me again today. He priced tickets for a visit out here. Honestly, I am not encouraging this in any way. I have stayed neutral. But I haven’t discouraged it either. Which makes me wonder… Why do I have to keep learning this lesson about what a bad idea it is to like unreliable people?
And I started worrying, Is there some masochistic side of me that is attracted to unreliable people?
But the thing is, no. I am not, not in any way at all, attracted to unreliable people. So WTF? Why don’t I just tell him that I’m not going to aid and abet his little November-road-trip plan when chances are he’ll get bored in the middle of
And maybe you could have told me this a long time ago, but I’m finally ready to admit it.
I am an Adventure Whore.
Impromptu adventure is my own personal crack. I can’t get enough. It’s up there with sex and rollercoasters and loud music and Will Shortz on Wednesdays. It is a thing of beauty and an unmatched pleasure and probably the whole point of life.
But so far – and I’m trying with all my might to believe this is not conclusive evidence – so far the other adventure whores I’ve dated and the other reliable people I’ve dated are two distinct and non-overlapping groups. Because fundamentally the addict is always going to drop your ass for his next hit. And fundamentally the reliable guy is not going to abandon his commitments because Aeroflot is having a sale.
Which leaves me in a bit of a pickle. Because I tried dating reliable people, who drank while I danced and drove me to the airport and found my spontaneity tolerable. And I tried dating other adventure whores, who made big art and stayed up all night and went into the ocean with me in March. But the former never joined in the miscellany, and the latter never stuck around.
(And a few times I’ve dated people who were either reliable OR adventure whores, but who for whatever reason insisted they were the other. And that, I can say decisively, is the very worst of all.)
Now at some point I may meet a reliable adventure whore like me. We will buy the tickets to
But in the Mean Time, since this reliable adventure whore has not turned up yet, I hardly feel compelled to turn down a perfectly unreliable road trip invitation. Sure, he’ll probably bail. But we might end up drinking tequila in
posted by tortaluga @ 1:37 PM
6 Comments:
I've got to stop reading your blog at work ... absolutely the wrong environment to think about Life Meaning.
Okay, so I hate flakes as much as I hate those who believe contentedness is the same as happiness--and I fled the latter. How do you, Adventure Whore, reconcile your impulses with your pragmatism? Tell me your secret. It's a secret, right? It must be a secret because for the love of god I cannot figure it out. Even Ernest Shackleton needed financing.
Wa-wren, in part it's a function of being willing to give up the need to have the financing in place before you go; being able to weigh all your assets and liabilities against intangibles; to say what the hell and just give it up and go follow that burning need in your heart that feeds your soul and makes you feel as if you are actually LIVING, and having enough faith in yourself and the universe to know that somehow the money will work itself out as you go.
And sometimes it means choosing to not buy a house, and instead spend 6 months learning for the first time in your life the true meaning of loneliness, and understanding that the possibility of the house would never have been worth the discovery of color and scope epic technicolor could only dream of.
i never claimed to be pragmatic… i just try to be considerate.
that said. adventuring does not require recklessness like quitting one’s job and leaving the country and racking up credit card debt. i mean it can, but i’m more a fan of daily adventuring… like in eugene our midnight coast trips and ball gown dress ups and parties on fifteen minutes notice. but that doesn’t appeal to most people, who find it tiring and embarrassing and stupid. but i find it thrilling… the kind of adventuring that just requires an appreciation for the ridiculous and low threshold for joy.
of course i like the large scale kind of adventuring too, which works if it’s worth it to you, given your personal brain chemistry, to live crazy cheap for many months in order to do crazy cheap adventuring for many months. which is often uncomfortable and annoying and marginally dangerous, which i have bitched about on many a blog, but which i would still trade in a minute for having had coffee in mostar. technicolor fabulous is right.
and I certainly need more daily adventuring - the stuff that keeps you smiling when you're sitting in the office hoarding pennies for the next grandiose extravaganza.
to live your life with moments of technicolor EVERY WEEK!?! now that's a gift :)
um, why are we not all living in the same city when I come back?? you all rock.
By the way, I know a couple of people living in Alpine TX. They might show you around if you're in the area ... ?
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