strike that

resolute

I was reading the New Yorker this morning; it’s one of the “fiction issues” and I hate those. But there was a short story I liked and here’s part of it.

The present was enough, though my work in the cemetery told me every day what happens when you let an unsatisfactory present go on too long: it becomes your entire history.

I am not resolving to be more patient in the New Year. My impatience suits me fine. In fact if I could resolve for other people to be less patient I would, but alas. That’s not how it works.

Two thousand six was the Year of Faith and Bravery. It was a little brutal, to be honest. The bravery sent me walking out onto limbs that ended up being too thin, and the faith didn’t soften the fall. But there’s Faith and Bravery for you. If you already know how things will turn out, you don’t need much of either.

So for the new year I’d like to retain the faith and bravery, and add persistence. Because though I’ve gotten good at charging in with confidence, it takes surprisingly little to send me into retreat. My bluffing is marvelous but I freeze when it’s called. Which is silly because I’m a lawyer’s daughter and I know how to hold my ground. Persistence is the natural follow-up to bravery. The quality that makes faith more fruitful.

The new year could also use a hearty dose of panache. All the unrequited liking of the last twelve months has led to a certain amount of second-guessing, and from second-guessing it’s a slippery slope to bland. This caution is hereby banished. Kazaam!

Sadly The Year of Persistence and Panache has no ring to it whatsoever. So let’s go with this: Two Thousand Seven, the Year of Gusto.

And while I’m making proclamations? I wouldn’t mind if two thousand seven kicked off with a Really Good Kiss. Not tonight necessarily, but soon. Soon enough to qualify as a kickoff. The sort of kiss where no one is being careful.

All the best in the new year, all. May it be brimming with the Entire History of your choosing.

posted by tortaluga @ 5:36 PM