i heart pdx
I am in the middle of a tumultuous relationship.
Not the one with Operaman, which was too tame for even my standards and which, in any case, I am no longer in.
I’m talking about my relationship with Portland.
Portland and I met almost five years ago, and I had a crush on him from the start. He had a lot of the things I was looking for, and being with Portland seemed like a way to avoid repeating mistakes I’d made in the past: Portland wasn’t self-absorbed. Portland went hiking. Portland liked to stay up late.
Portland was just my type.
But at the time I was involved with Eugene, and we stuck together for four years. We had laughs and lazy Sundays and plenty of good times, but he didn’t make my heart race. Confession? I flirted with Portland the whole time. I dreamt secretly about what it would be like if we were together.
When Eugene and I finally split, I briefly shopped around. I Googled Vancouver. Austin and I texted. New Orleans took me to dinner, and we had pretty good chemistry. But right then Portland stepped in, and there was no use fighting it. I bought a one way ticket.
It started out cinematically divine. We went for long bike rides and hung out in coffee shops. We saw live music every week. I was falling fast and hard and it was marvelous. My friends indulged my tedious conversation, Portland this, Portland that. I never knew what I was missing until Portland. I think Portland might be The One.
But then, of course, the honeymoon ended. Is there any other story? Once Portland picked me up at the airport, but now my calls go unreturned. I thought we had something special. But it turns out I have nothing to offer that Portland can’t get from countless other star-struck girls with master’s degrees and thrift-store sweaters.
It’s possible I’m overreacting. My friends tell me I might just need to wait it out. Portland will come around, they say. You two were Made For Each Other. Give it time. But I’m nearly thirty and my geographical clock is ticking. I’m ready for an LTR and I don’t have patience for Portland’s commitment issues.
All the same, I’m not giving up yet. I’m going to take my bruised little heart and hand it over, despite the painful lack of success this approach has met with of late. Here I am, Portland. I’m sticking with you. You aren’t easy but I'm crafty and I have a hunch you’re worth it. Give me what you’ve got.
3 Comments:
The thing with *this* type of relationship is, you can't expect your city to be faithful. In some sense, there will always be other women with Master's degrees and penchants for riding through his forgotten parts and discussing rare and nerdy topics political, social and artistic with his other denizens, but there will only be one you who loves Portland just the way you do, and you feel he appreciates that, or you don't. Give him time. Cities can be notoriously indefferent for the first year, after the excitement wears off. Remember the way New York treated you back then? And though ultimately, he wasn't rigt for you (much too self absorbed and not really into camping, I think) you had such laughs in the end.
it's so true... i don't regret the time i spent with new york, even though we had no long term potential.
and wouldn't you know that just when i start to doubt portland this week, he gives me just a little? just enough to keep me from walking away?
Well written. But remember, long term relationships are really all about what happens after the passion, y'know? Sounds like you're not going anywhere, and you know Portland won't. You'll find a harmonious accord, I'm sure.
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