i'd be lyin if i said it wasn't easy
Well, there goes Operaman. Exit stage left. As seems to be the unfortunate custom these days, he didn’t actually just tell me. Instead he let me hang on through a rough week and a lonely weekend, waited until I called and asked him to please stop by on his way home from rehearsal, chatted pleasantly over tea until I said I felt like we should check in. At which point he suggested we go for a walk, lit up a cigarette, and told me he’s overbooked.
Well no shit.
But seriously? No one breaks up with no one because of overbooked. And I guess I understand why that is somehow nicer than saying I no longer find you attractive or Your company bores me or Your laugh is embarrassing. Except for the part where you then sit up all night with Wilco and leftover Thanksgiving wine and wonder which of these things it is. Because I generally feel cute enough and interesting enough and sure, my laugh is ridiculous, but that would be even stupider than overbooked. So now I just get to wonder.
And can I just bitch for one minute, because I feel crappy and entitled? Why the fuck do people feel so compelled to invent problems? I mean, the world is fucking brimming with real problems. Having to leave your spouse to go earn money in another country is a Problem. Being in love with someone of the same sex is in most places a Problem. Having a partner who is ill or enlisted or incarcerated is a Problem. Living an hour apart? Having to work late a lot? Not really that into reggae? Can you possibly be serious? Living in the most prosperous time in one of the most prosperous nations in an era of instant communication and easy travel? Fucking Hell. Quit Your Fucking Whining.
And I know I know. These things are just excuses. But I can’t shake the feeling that in the absence of excuses, sometimes people actually manage to make things work.
posted by tortaluga @ 3:01 AM
2 Comments:
boo operaman boo! sometimes I wish that people would give the hard answer "you know, it really IS you...and I just don't find it charming anymore" but then that would suck a lot more than the platitude of "I'm overbooked" which means I like you, but not enough to really work at it.
because better you stay yourself, and find the person who doesn't think you are any work at all...
"I'm overbooked" could also be lots of other things, as in, "I don't feel like we connect, no matter how amazing you are", or "I'm actually uncomfortable being in your presence, because you're so spectacular and I'm not". It doesn't have to be something about you and your lack of "worth". It doesn't have to be about you at all. What really does suck our energy is that, for those of us who do wish to live in a world where people can give us that kind of honest feedback, no matter how hard it is to receive, there are few people who are brave enough to do it. I'm sorry he left you guessing. His loss though.
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